The Time Cat Trilogy Concludes!

Time Cat’s bad side – Bad Cat – has taken over, and is now causing havoc throughout all history and all space. He plans his attacks from a tastefully converted textiles mill, which is armed with a Galactic Laser capable of destroying a whole spiral galaxy in one shot.



Only Mind Dog, left to his own devices, can stop him and rescue Time Cat’s psyche from the depths of Bad Cat’s mind.

Mind Dog’s mind has been transferred to a new body, that of a pug dog with all four legs intact. This happened because Mind Dog was performing a particularly strenuous telekinetic feat and his mind became so full of power that it blew up and flew out of his head. In his new body, can Mind Dog enlist the help of his and Time Cat’s natural enemies, the Robo-Chimps, Killer Clouds, Killer Laptops, Time Bat, and Killer Baked Potatoes, in saving Time Cat and restoring history to its proper state?

All this is happening after Time Cat (2007 AD) but before Time Cat III – The Battle Within (8 billion trillion AD). At the end of Time Cat II – Bad Cat (half a million AD), we see Mind Dog’s pug dog body utterly destroyed, and his mind sent hurtling through time. It ends up landing in Mind Dog’s three-legged dachshund body, in the past, before the events of Time Cat, so we see the genesis of Mind Dog explained (1999 AD).

ALMOST DEFINITELY COMING SOON

Time Cat III - The Battle Within

The second film in the Time Cat series, confusingly but also understandably called Time Cat III - The Battle Within (because Time Cat can travel in time, so his films can come in any order.)

The robo-chimps continue their bid for complete domination of the entire observable universe, and threaten the very existence of planet Earth with their dreaded Battle Banana, an armoured Musaceaen space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet (or moon or large asteroid or other space station or ship).

But a new threat faces Time Cat. He has to battle with his dark side, which is growing evermore powerful and dark. So it's, literally, a (Time Cat III - The) battle within.

Time Cat only has Mind Dog to help him, and what with this terrifying new battle within threat, and a mysterious race of killer baked potatoes with circular saws on sticks, he's going to need all the help he can get.

COMING SOON

Time Bat

On his adventures, Time Cat encounters many powerful enemies. But none is as tedious as ...

A fruit bat with time-travelling abilities, this pesky little Megachiropteran turd doesn't use its unique gifts for good. Instead, whenever it finds some overripe or rotting fruit, this selfish and repugnant flying bag of shit shoots it with time rays from its eyes, which makes the fruit go back in time, to a point when it is ripe and edible.

Time Bat's obsessive love for fruits of all kinds leads him to squander his chrono-manipulative powers on making apples and kumquats all nice and juicy. This goes against just about every rule in the Time Handbook, and this pisses Time Cat off.

Their battle to observe the basic guidelines of chrono-ethics rages across forty-six hundred billion years and four universes. It is a Time War the likes of which has never been seen before. It is a Time War to the ends of reality...

... And to the death.

Time Cat Wallpaper

Brighten up your computer's desktop with this Time Cat movie wallpaper.


Click to view the full 1024 x 768 image.

More Exciting Images from Time Cat

More thrilling stills from Time Cat!

Mind Dog has been captured by the robo-chimps, posing as television presenters. Using a TJF (telekinesis jamming field), they succeed in robbing Mind Dog of his mental powers. In the image below, the cyber-monkeys' human disguises are given away by their tell-tale bananas.

Mind Dog is so shocked by this turn of events that he appears untroubled, yet inside his apparently guileless little head, he is in turmoil.


Driven by an all-consuming hatred for Mind Dog, and for the Forces of Good in general, one of the mecha-simians rips off his disguise (you can see his pink vest) and threatens to shoot the psychic pooch right in his oblivious, semi-catatonic head. A tense stand-off ensues. Just how will it turn out? (Well, the next screenshot sort of tells you, in that Mind Dog is still alive.)


Later, the chief electro-ape is taunting Mind Dog viciously, explaining his plans to take over the galaxy. He has fitted Mind Dog with a permanent TJF collar. Mind Dog finds this a little beyond the pale, as his expression patently demonstrates.

Unbeknowst to the evil mechanical chimpanzee, however, Time Cat is materialising behind him, there to whup his hairy monkey ass and save his telekinetic doggie chum.

TIME CAT - COMING SOON!

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SECOND IMAGE FROM TIME CAT

In this second exciting shot from Time Cat, the eponymous feline time-traveller is sucked down a time displacement vortex in the space-time continuum, accompanied by a fairly surprised but otherwise sanguine Mind Dog.


You can tell it's a time displacement vortex because it contains things like clocks running backwards and complicated mathematical diagrams and other assorted time-travelling artefacts.

EXCLUSIVE! FIRST IMAGE FROM TIME CAT

The first still image from the upcoming motion picture Time Cat has been released.

Finding themselves in ancient China during the construction of the Great Wall, Time Cat and Mind Dog are taking a stroll along the amazing edifice, unaware that a swarm of Killer Laptops is bearing down on them.

TIME CAT - THE MOTION PICTURE EVENT OF THE YEAR

The world has never seen a motion picture like Time Cat. A rollercoaster of a film from beginning to end, with pulse-pounding action, belly-laugh comedy, and moments of pathos so touching you'll near-as-damn-it expire through crying so much.

Time Cat starts out as an ordinary cat who wanders into a government temporal displacement R&D facility. An explosion occurs and the cat is catapulted through time and given strange time-travelling powers. He becomes the world’s first chronofelinenaut.

On his adventures he encounters...

Terrifying Enemies

• Killer Clouds – clouds that fly around in groups and strafe people like fighter planes, shooting out bullets and rockets and that.

• Robo-Monkeys – crazed android simians armed with guns with two settings – one that shoots lasers, and one that shoots bananas.

• Killer Laptops – sentient evil computers who pose as normal computers and then bite your head off. They like going round in groups too and snapping people to bits.

Faithful Allies

• Mind Dog – a three-legged dachsund dog with terrifyingly powerful mental capabilities. Born a mutant, Mind Dog can read your thoughts, make you do stuff, and telekinetically control the environment around him. Unfortunately his mental powers are at the expense of his general physical health, meaning he's constantly coughing, and he can't bark without vomiting.

Evil Nemesis

• Bad Cat – another cat was in the government temporal displacement R&D facility during the explosion, but this was a bad cat who hates Time Cat because he thinks he got better powers.

Cool Things That Time Cat's Got

• One of his cool things he’s got is the chronocopter which can travel through time and battle stuff.

Press Reaction

"I watched this movie in awe, and left the theatre 'feline' fine."
Bazza Yankowitz

"Reight film."
The Barnsley Trumpet

"Even better than Crab-Dog and Sex Baby."
The (West) Finchley Informanator

"Just go and see it, dickhead. For fuck's sake."
Asian Amputee BBW Digest

"Cat-tastic."
Poinsettia World

TIME CAT - COMING SOON
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